I never really knew what it felt like to have a deep hole suddenly devastate my chest. Only in dreams had I felt so much pain, but this was far from a dream. We spelled “Samy,” our dog, with one “m”, instead of the normal two. I never knew why. I guess just to make him different. He was a mix between a pug and a beagle, two of my favorite breeds of dog. He had the beagle nose and obsession for food. His pug side included a very curly tail and some graying fur around his face as he got to his later years.
He was born next to a rainbow blanket, which we called his “blankie”. He would jump up on my bed at night and snuggle while having part of his blankie in his mouth. Love was such an easy game to play. I didn’t think I’d have to worry about his death for a long time. Every once in a while I would have a dream, or a nightmare, where someone in the family would die. Those were terrible, but I think everybody has those and gets over them by morning. My grandmother, hamster, and bunny are the only deaths I had actually lived through, until one very dreary, rainy night.
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looked as though they were here to stay. I decided for some strange reason to take Samy for a walk, and I never do that. On the other side of the street I could see an apple core, which immediately caught my dog’s attention. He jerked toward it. “No,” I shouted firmly, but he was determined. Out of the corner of my eye I could see lights. Car lights. This was a problem. My adrenaline was pumping. Maybe if I pulled hard enough again he would get the point. The lights got closer as did reality. I hoped for
the car to stop but it was coming fast off the highway. The car couldn’t stop. The breaks screeched. “Help!” I screamed.
It was a split second decision and one of the hardest I had ever had to make: whether to let Samy pull me across and risk my safety, or put him in danger and keep pulling. SMACK! There was a shadow hanging over me. How could this have happened? This was unreal. “No, no, no, no,” I said to Samy as I rushed to his side. He was badly injured. Neighbors had heard the noise and were coming out to see the scene. Samy had bruises all over his body. There was no way we could help him now. I needed a place to hide away. The worst part was seeing him in pain, whining softly. He died that night. We buried him in our backyard with the blankie he loved. Why he had to go, I don’t know.
A lesson can be learned from this. You have to appreciate what you have today because you never know when you won’t have it. Oh, I believe in yesterday.