“Swallow it” by Sunanda Basu

Emotions are all deceptive lies,
Insignificant delicate butterflies.
 
They’re not in the slightest important,
Never acknowledge the pain of their torment.
 
They make fun ‘cause they think they know,
But they’ll never understand how love can grow
 
When it’s forbidden, dangerous, and risky.
This high will never end, and no one will miss me.
 
Drown the sorrow and bury the tears
‘Til an illusion of love and commitment appears.
 
Swallow it, swallow it, wash it all down
With a flask of remorse and an uninterested frown
 
Swallow it, swallow it, they’ll never know
How hard you fell, and how hard you broke
 
They don’t understand, nobody does.
If I don’t tell, they won’t know it never was.
 
My therapist thinks that I’m insane,
My mother barely knows my name,
 
My brother’s surrounded by a cloud of smoke,
And if my father speaks, he’ll choke.
 
“They’re not real, he’s not here.”
“There’s no one where you’re pointing, dear.”
 
Swallow it, swallow it, wash it all down.
With a flask of remorse and an uninterested frown.
 
Swallow it, swallow it, they’ll never know.
How hard you fell, and how hard you broke.
 
I am fluid, ever changing
To meet the needs of those demanding
 
Who am I? They don’t know
They only know the me I put forth
 
They think they get me, that they know
But change my personality to whatever I want to show
 
Who am I today? Just look at what’s left in the bottle
To see who next I will love, and who next I will throttle
 
Power is dangerous, everyone knows
But even worse is when resentment is left alone and grows
 
Left to fester in a dark damp heart
It’s building up in my soul, it will tear me apart
 
Swallow it, swallow it, wash it all down
With a flask of remorse and an uninterested frown
 
Swallow it, swallow it, they’ll never know
How hard you fell, and how hard you broke

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