The Pyle Inside

             Whoever created school lunches must have really hated kids. Seriously! Kids would be much happier with pizza or tater tots, rather than…poison.

I turned to my best friend, Dana, who was picking at her mashed pea stew. She pushed her plate away, shaking her head.

“This is disgusting,” Dana sighed, “as always.”

She then pulled out her plan book. “Okay, enough about the food. We need to talk about the wedding!”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s all my brother is talking about. Molly this, Molly that! Why can’t he see through the witch’s disguise?!”

Dana bit her lip. “Well, she’s only a witch when Max and your parents aren’t around. She’s an angel, otherwise.”

“Well, we have to top this wedding!” I shouted, pounding my fist on the table.

A few kids stared at me.

“Calm down,” Dana hushed. “That’s why we’re doing this, right? To prove that Molly is horrible, and he should dump her!”

I nodded. “Thanks. You’re right.”

Dana smiled thinly. “As always.”

The bell rang right at that moment. “Meet me at The Triangle after school.”

Dana nodded. “See you then.”

We both rushed in the halls, getting lost in a sea of people.

After school, I went home to grab some snacks before heading off to the triangle. Guess who was there? None other than the witch herself.

She was in the kitchen with my mom, looking over cake designs for the wedding cake. Blah.

My mom looked up at me and smiled. “Hi, honey!”

The witch turned to me and gave me a sweet smile. “Hey, Maddie! Wanna help us choose out cake designs? I’m trying to pick between red velvet and vanilla.” The witch moved over so I could have some space. Oh, how I hated her. Acting all sweet in front of mom. She may have fooled her, but not me!

I shrugged. “Sorry. I have to head over to the Triangle to meet Dana. I’m just grabbing some snacks.”

I took some pretzels (me and Dana’s favs) and made my way towards the door. Before I left, I turned back again toward The Witch. “Oh, and by the way, Max hates red velvet. He only likes chocolate.”

And with that, I ran out the door, slamming it behind me.

The Triangle was a sacred place right next to the river. Underneath a big tree, there was a space that was covered by rocks, making it look like a triangle. Every Tuesday and Friday, Dana and I met there to discuss school, gossip, or whatever was bothering us.

When I got there, I found Dana sitting cross-legged underneath the tree, her nose buried in a book.

“Hey,” I said.

Dana looked up and smiled. “Hi, Maddie!”

“What is it this time?” I asked, plopping down next to her.

“To Kill a Mockingbird,” Dana replied. “I’m re-reading.”

After we finished the pretzels, Dana got out her plan book. “Okay. So how are we going to convince Max that Molly is a witch?”

I laid back and closed my eyes, listening to the river. The sound of the river flowing always helped me think.

I sat right back up. “Maybe we could do something to Molly that would make her have a really bad reaction to it! Then maybe Max will see how mean she really is!”

Dana crossed her arms. “I dunno. Maybe-” Just then, Dana’s phone rang. After she hung up, she gave me a sad smile. “That was my mom. I have to go home.”

After Dana left, I stayed at the Triangle for another 15 minutes just enjoying the scenery, then got bored and went home.

When I got home, I found Molly scrolling through her phone on the couch.

“Where’s mom?” I asked.

The Witch shrugged. “I dunno. Why don’t you use that brain of yours and actually look around.”

I pulled out my math homework. “Well, mom said that she would help me with my math homework. But since she’s not here, could you help?”

The Witch glared at me. “I’m not a walking calculator. Do it yourself.”

I placed my homework on the kitchen table, then walked over to the living room so I was standing right in front of Molly.

“Molly,” I said slowly, “do you know what I wonder most? I wonder how someone as smart as my brother could fall for someone like you.”

The Witch gave me the evil eye. “Lookie here, Missy. I am going to marry your brother, and I am going to make him love me, and you are not going to get in the way of that.”

I snorted. “Or else what?”

Molly glared at me. “Or else I will make your life miserable.”

            “I’m not scared of you, Witch. And you only like my brother because he has money and you think he’s hot.”

She shrugged. “Maybe so. But he’ll never believe you.”

Before I could fire back, the door opened, and my brother walked in. “Hey, guys!”

I ran up to him. “Hi, Max! I’m so happy to see you!”

“You too, sport,” he laughed.

Molly slowly walked over to Max and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Hey,” she said with a grin. “How was your day?”

“It’s better now that you’re here,” Max said, pulling Molly in for a kiss.

I silently gagged. How disgusting!

Molly led Max to the kitchen table. “Maddie and I were just discussing the wedding cake. Weren’t we, Maddie?”

“Um, yeah. Sure,” I stammered.

“Did you guys decide on anything?” Max asked eagerly.

“Well, Maddie suggested red velvet, but I told her that you didn’t like that. So I think we’ll be going with chocolate. If that’s okay with you, at least.”

I gaped at Molly. What a liar!

“Chocolate is my favorite!” Max exclaimed.

“Just what I thought,” Molly grinned.

I tried not to gag as the fumes of the disgusting tuna fish filled the air. We were at the rehearsal dinner for Max’s wedding, and the main course had been chosen by Molly’s folks. Because what screams wedding better than tuna fish!

As soon as I met Molly’s parents, I knew I hated them as well. The first thing her mother, Mrs. Vanderbilt, had said to me was, “Dear, don’t you think that the dress you are wearing is a little…bland? Honestly, who shops for you? Your maid?”

It took nearly all of my strength not to scream, Shut up, you old hag! This dress had been given to me one year ago by my grandmother who was now dead. It was the nicest thing I owned!

    I still had not been able to figure out how to prove what a witch Molly was. Dana had been no help whatsoever because her parents had taken her on a spring break trip to the Caribbean.

So while Dana was lying underneath the hot sun in the Bahamas, flirting with cute Caribbean boys, I got to attend the witch’s wedding. Ugh!

I picked at my tuna, pushing it around to make it look like I was actually eating it. My mom noticed what I was doing and gave me the look of death. I stopped.

Meanwhile, I still had to figure out a way to ruin Max and Molly’s wedding because it was tomorrow. Tomorrow!

Molly interrupted my thoughts. “I would like to give a toast!” she announced.

Everybody turned towards her. I rolled my eyes and slowly positioned myself to face her.

“I would just like to say how happy I am that you all are here,” Molly started. “I remember when I was a junior in college, and I was studying abroad in Spain. My Spanish professor, Senora Rosalie, had just finished giving us a big test. I was so nervous that I started to cry.”

She paused and turned to Max. “Then a wonderful young man told me that everything would be okay. At that moment I knew that I was in love. Since that day, Max and I have been inseparable. I am so honored and grateful to have Max as a part of my life. That is all.”

I looked over and saw that my mom was crying. I rolled my eyes. Now Molly had everyone wrapped around her little finger.

After everybody was done eating their tuna, the cake was served. It was two layers of vanilla cake with vanilla frosting. This cake was nothing compared to the wedding cake.

The wedding cake was a four-tiered chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream frosting. There were beautiful roses of all different colors engraved on the frosting, rising from the bottom up to the top.

I was so excited to eat that cake! Well, after the wedding was canceled, of course. I’m sure that we would be able to keep the cake. Hopefully.

I placed my head down on the red satin cloth and closed my eyes. A plan was slowly forming in my head.

“Ow!” I exclaimed. “Not so tight!”

It was the day of the wedding, and I was sitting in my hotel room as my mother did my hair.

“Your bun cannot have any loose hairs,” my mother scolded. “Now, quit whining! You have to look nice!”

I really wish that I had been given a choice of whether or not I wanted to be the flower girl. I could have maybe faked sick to skip the wedding. But no! Instead of being at home, enjoying my spring break, I had to sit here while my mother tied up my hair so tightly my head was practically numb.

Next came the…dress. It was the ugliest thing I had ever seen. It was pink with pink beads, with puffed shoulder cuffs and lace on the bottom.

It was literally the most hideous, uncomfortable, horrid dress I had ever seen with my own two eyes. Of course, Molly had picked it out.

“I am not putting that on!” I insisted, crossing my arms.

“Yes, you are!” Mom snapped. “It may not be the prettiest, but it’ll make do. Do not ruin Max’s wedding.” She slipped the dress over my head.

“Fine, mom,” I sighed, crossing my fingers.

Because that’s exactly what I was going to do.

Mom’s phone rang. She rummaged through her purse, then picked it up. “Hello?”

As my mom spoke on the phone, I thought about how I could get my plan to work out.

After she had finished speaking, Mom grabbed her purse. “Come on,” she urged. “The limo is here.”

When I saw the limo, my jaw practically dropped to the ground. It was sleek white with a little golden pony on the side.

A driver held the door open for us, helping us into the limo. Riding in the limo were the bride, the bridesmaids, Molly’s mom, me and my mom. The guys were all riding separately in their cars.

My mom and I were the first ones there, so we waited a few minutes for the rest to come.

I examined the limo. There were rows of speakers, so everyone could hear the music. I flipped a switch and a flat-screen TV appeared.

“Oh. My. God.”

In the cup holders, there were all different types of candies. I was in heaven

The bridesmaids piled into the limo first, then Molly’s mom, and then, finally, Molly.

I gasped at Molly. She looked, well, stunning. Her curly brown hair was in an updo, and she was wearing diamond earrings. Her dress was a ball gown with diamonds that shined so brightly it was blinding.

“Whoa,” I said.

Now I knew that it would be practically impossible to convince Max not to marry Molly. Because Molly looked like a modern-day Cinderella. And every prince needs a Cinderella. I just had to figure out a way to prove that she was actually a wicked stepsister.

After a long ride in the limo, with plenty of sweets eaten, we arrived at the Cathedral. I knew that plan Ruin The Wedding would have to come into action soon.

We entered the back of the church where the wedding planner was waiting. My mother and Molly’s mother hurried inside to find their seats.

The wedding planner ushered me to the door and handed me a basket of flowers.

“When I give you a thumbs up, walk down the aisle and begin scattering the flowers. Not too much at a time, but not too little. When you get to the end, take a seat next to your parents.”

I nodded, but I wasn’t actually listening. If the plan was to work out, I had to do things my own way.

The organ music started playing, and one by one, the bridesmaids and their dates made their way down the aisle.

Finally, the wedding planner gave me a thumbs up. I made my way down the aisle, sprinkling the flowers as I walked. As soon as I got to the end, I sat down in the seat next to my parents.

I heard a collective gasp as everyone rose to watch Molly. The Witch waltzed down the aisle, her arm tucked in her father’s.

I turned back to the front to see my brother wipe a tear out of his eye. Ughh. He was totally under her spell.

As soon as she got to the front, the church pastor announced, “You may be seated.”

The pastor droned on and on about stuff, but all I heard was “Blah, blah, blah.”

What happened next was totally unexpected.

It was time for the vows, and Max and Molly had both written their own.

Just then, a woman took a seat next to me, holding a little chihuahua  

In case you didn’t know, I am extremely allergic to dogs. Even just the sight of them makes my eyes water.

As Max started saying his vows, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in, but a tiny sneeze escaped.

Molly shot me a dirty look before turning back to Max.

My mom looked at me, then at the dog. From the expression on her face, I could tell that she knew that this was going to be a big dilemma.

Finally, it was time for Molly’s vows. By then, tears were streaming down my face (because of the dog, not because I was moved by the speech) and my nose was running.

My mom grabbed a tissue out of her purse and shoved it into my hands. After I had wiped my face, I turned back towards the wedding.

“And from the moment, I knew you were mine,” Molly was saying.

Just then, I felt a big sneeze coming on. Then, the mother of all sneezes escaped.

“ACHOO!”

Everybody turned to stare at me, and my face flushed in embarrassment.

Meanwhile, Molly looked completely appalled.

“That’s it!” she screamed. “I have had enough of her ruining everything!”

“Calm down,” my brother soothed, lightly touching her arm. “Maddie’s just allergic to dogs. It’s no big-”

“Don’t you dare tell me that it’s not a big deal!” Molly snapped. “Maddie ruins everything! After this wedding is over, we are going somewhere far away from your bratty sister and your stinkin’ family, like France or Australia.”

Everybody gasped. Even I was shocked. I had not expected it to go like this. It was awesome.

Max was gaping at her.

My mother’s arms were crossed and her eyes were narrowed.

“It’s either them or me,” Molly sneered. “Not both.”

Without hesitating, my brother replied, “Fine.”

Molly smiled. “Okay, now let’s resume the wed-”

“No,” Max retorted. “I mean my family. I would choose them over you any day of the week.”

“Ugh!” Molly growled. “I hate you! I hate your family, and I hate your sister most of all!”

She ran down the aisle, but accidentally tripped and landed face first in the cake.

The laughter that I had previously been holding back now escaped my lips. I looked around and saw that my mom was silently shaking with laughter. Even Max looked like he was trying to hold back some laughs.

She got up and screamed, “You have not seen the last of me!” She then ran out of the Church, her parents following close behind.

“And then she ran out of the church, whining like a little baby.”

It was a week later and I was back in school, telling Dana all about the wedding disaster.

“You should’ve been there,” I laughed, taking a bite of my sloppy joe.

“I wish I was,” Dana giggled. “How’s Max? Is he okay?”

“Yeah,” I said. “He said that he’s glad that she was exposed before they got married. He wouldn’t want someone like her as a wife.” I took another bite of my sandwich before continuing. “Anyway, he’s decided to finally get his Ph.D. He wants to be a Cardiologist, but he couldn’t since he was getting married, so he’s really excited about that.”

“That’s so cool,” Dana smiled, shaking her head. “Anyway, now that we’re done with operation Ruin the Wedding, we have to move on to the next one.”

Giving her food a dirty look, she announced, “Time for plan Make the School Fail The Health Test So They Give Us Better Food!”